unbelief & love

have you ever sensed an internal stirring of the Spirit, which ignites the desire to do "something" that is entirely outside of your comfort zone? this "something" is so outside of your comfort zone that the very thought of it makes you your heart rate increase and your palms feel sweaty.

i am that person and i have those Spirit-stirred desires. desires so big that i know that i could never accomplish them with my own puny resources. so, i refuse to try because i am so afraid of failure and what others might think of me when i try and fail.

this summer, while i was attending a school in north carolina, the time was right for Father to reveal that, for me, it's not just a fear of failure or what others might think of me, but it's a matter of "unbelief"--a matter of not being inwardly convinced of the truth of his incredible love for me.

from bible teacher, larry crabb, i received a great "word picture" of what this kind of response to God's perfect love might look like. imagine yourself standing on a very high cliff, and looking down into the abyss below, you see the thing you fear most. now, imagine yourself making the choice to jump with abandon, trusting that Father's rope of perfect will catch you before you reach the thing you fear most. for me, this is a great description of "belief," which is the opposite of "unbelief."

this blog is evidence that when i jumped off the high cliff and stared into the abyss of what i fear most, Father's strong rope of perfect love caught me.

thank you, my precious Father, for revealing the truth of your love for me, and granting me the courage to jump!