presence

never would i have understood the gift of "presence" apart from experiencing it for myself during a crisis of my faith.

my circumstances had felt grim for far too many months. . .no wonder st. john of the cross describes it as "the dark night of the soul." i began to question whether god had forgotten about me or if he really cared about me at all. intellectually, i knew he possessed the power to bring me much-needed relief from my suffering, but would he?

in the middle of my "dark night," a friend moved toward me, and i knew in my heart that she really cared about me. she asked simple questions about how these circumstances felt to me and how they were impacting my body, soul, and spirit. she listened with her heart as i shared about my weariness and doubt. i felt no judgment from her, nor did she make an attempt to try to "fix" what was wrong. instead, i felt listened to, cared about, & that she was willing to just sit with me in the middle of my misery. that time with her brought such a season of refreshing to this weary traveler.

my spiritual friend, franciscian priest richard rohr, wrote about "presence" in his book, job & the mystery of suffering. he said, "when we are understood, when we feel another person really cares, it's surprising how the problem, for the most part, can fade. we don't need the answer any more. the mere fact that someone is carrying the burden with us, walking with us on the journey, for some unbelieveable reason--it's not logical at all--takes care of much of the problem."

i want to be a friend like that. . .a friend who really cares, and is willing to lay aside judgment, a need to compare my life experiences with another, a need to "spiritualize" another's circumstances. . .and to learn to be simply present and still. we all need friends like that. . .it just might feel like being with jesus "with skin on."